Chords not Discord:Asperger’s and Concerts:

Concerts are one of my favorite things on this planet. The anticipation of the show, the clapping people waiting for the encore, and of course the moment the band comes out. It’s a magical feeling to be with people who are there to love and appreciate just as much or more than you.

I was surprised yesterday when my father asked if I wanted to go to the Dave Matthews Band show with him. We already had two tickets, one for my dad and one for my mom. He also has tickets to see the band in June. The original plan was for mom and dad to go the show last night, and I would go with him. Then things changed. Mom is going with dad to the beach and for the show, while I went last night. It was the first concert of the tour, and the year that the band celebrates their 25 years together.

I think it is strange that I, who normally hates loud sounds and large crowds, absolutely love concerts.

Of course, there are things I don’t like so much

Once I got to the arena, I got freaked out over the pocket check and wanding. The thing beeped on me and my almost exploded. She asked me If I had a belt. I pulled up my shirt to show it to her. I guess you didn’t have to show them, but I figured if she asked, she probably wanted to see it.

In the arena, there were huge crowds everywhere. Lot’s of talking, lot’s of moving, and too many people. We got to our seats, finally, which were actually really good seats. With my dry mouth, I need a lot of water. My dad said he would go get us some. The show was supposed to start at 8 pm, so at 7:48 pm, I texted him to hurry up and that the lights were dimming. I was extremely worried he would miss the beginning. He got back a few minutes before the proposed start time. Then we waited. Waited some more.With every second after 8 pm I got more nervous, because it was late. I kept checking the time on my phone to see how late the band was. I kept complaining about how late they were, My panic finally settled when everything went off and the band  came out. It is such a breathtaking feeling when the band got their instruments (or sat down for the drummer). Then they started playing. It felt like I had been waiting for it my whole life, in two ways. I was upset they weren’t schedule, but the main reason is that I knew I was in for a great show.

My sensory issues caught me many times.The first is that the whole arena smelled like marijuana. It seemed like every third person was lighting up and getting carried away. Dave even at the beginning of the show asked “How many of you are smoking marijuana” as the crowed cheered. I could not stand the smell. I mean, I’m sure a lot of people hated the smell, but it was making me anxious.  I even held my water bottle to my nose so I didn’t have to spell the nastiness. It is probably the third time i have ever smelled it, each at a DMB or Dave and Tim Reynolds show.

The lights. There were green, blue, white, orange, and probably more. The white ones kept going off like a strobe light.  I had to look away when they started. It was a little overwhelming, but looking away helped. I thought I was going to get a headache, but the big problem was internal.

I zoned out a few times. It happens at every concert I have been to. I can still hear the music in the background, but my mind fades and focuses on the ceiling or just random thoughts.  I then come back and enjoy the show. It happens at least a few times at every show I’ve been to, including Pierce The Veil, Taylor Swift, and Fleetwood Mac. Each of those I  did it., and they are all some of the favorite bands out of all my loved bands.It is not that I do not like the show. I just get distracted.

Overall, I had an excellent night. They played of my favorite songs by them, Grey Street, They also played a number of songs that had never performed live. One of them made tears fall down my face, and I was so close to ugly-crying. It was beautiful, and meant a lot to me. I’m not sure what the lyrics actually were, but I felt the song in my heart, as I felt the whole show in my heart. Grey Street was the last song played before the encore.I enjoyed myself even with all the sensory issues.  Here’s to 25 years and 25 more (unless they retire first.

They are getting older).


The song that made me cry: Dave Matthews Band- Samurai Cop




Music, Meet Mental Health 2

When talking about bipolar disorder, I often use colors as a means of explaining. Red for mania, blue for depression, and purple for mixed, or as I use it, purple for the stable times we wish would stay. Red and blue on either side, with a thin purple streak of stability. The songs today goes through the stages of mania. Then it goes to the freedom of purple. The last part is the depression, which comes at after the calm time. It can go in many  different orders, but they all are part of bipolar disorder.

When songs speak to you, they don’t just speak into your ears. They speak into your heart, your soul, and your veins. This song is about the hard parts of mania. Losing relationships, anger, and scars, not only on your body, but your head and and your mind. I bought the song as soon as I finished  it for the first time. It will whisper words of sorrow and pain but also hope and love that comes  when you are are leaving your manic state.

Bleed Red- Ronnie Dunn


The main reason I chose this song is because they speak of never losing their freedom. Nothing can take it away. Purple takes over (There were NO purple songs that met what I needed).Freedom in recovery, while having some structured help, as the men in the song talk about there being more people willing to join the fight.  Nobody can take away your freedom Your fight is doing anything to get better, while the men fight for freedom from a taxes and the king of England. We all have our own battles we need to win, and demons we need to beat.  My second reason for choosing this song is that the Hamilton soundtrack is so good, I spent 19.99 to listen to it without YouTube’s interruptions (This song is quite short, so when it stops don’t be surprised if the song cuts off.)

The Story of Tonight- Hamilton Cast


R.E. has so many good songs, I have not listened to every song by the band, but I really like this song. This one talks about what I take to be suicide. “The ocean’s near/ The light has started to fade” Depressive episodes sometimes make you feel awful about yourself, tired of no sleep and tired of the world. Not all depressed people are suicidal, but it can lead you down that path. Let a family member or close friend help you, call 911, or have someone  take you to your closest ER. This song is for those who struggle and for those who want soo what mental illness is really like

Electron Blue- R.E.M.

Bipolar has it’s reds, purples, and blues in any order. Unfortunately there is not a way to figure out when your next episode will occur. You can track your mood to see what elevates or drops. Medication can help lower the risk for serious episodes to come. These songs and many others aim to inspire you and educate yourself or others. Bipolar is a kitchen fire put out with baking soda. Fire is mania, the baking soda calms down the fire, and depression is when the fire goes out. Take control of the fire. Don’t let it take you away.

Oh, and to make little sister happy, I’m going to post a song she and her friends find hilarious. She will love that it is on here. (Be glad I didn’t post the 10 hour long version.)

Raining Tacos- Parry Gripp  and BooneBum

A Noteworthy November


I haven’t written about my favorite subject to write about recently, so I’m going to test this out. Here are a few of my favorite songs from November.

Death of A Bachelor is coming out in January, and Panic is slowly releasing song by song, and making us more anxious for the album with each note. The newest song out, LA Devotee, has an upbeat feel that makes you want to dance along with Brendon Urie. It has your typical drum and bass but it has your marching band standbys as well. With this song, January can’t get here soon enough

You like? Also check out: Emperor’s New Clothes; Hallelujah: This is Gospel- All by P!ATD


We gather here today to celebrate the blessed joining in harmony of Camila Cabello and Shawn Mendes. IKWYDLS graciously welcomes Ms. Cabello into the world of solo artists and Shawn is the perfect person to lead her on this journey. Gentle guitars lead to a blow up of perfect pop earworms. This is definitely a song to listen to if you like your music like you like your candy canes: chilling and sweet.

Also check out: Stitches- Shawn Mendes; Imagination- Shawn Mendes; Sledgehammer- Fifth Harmony (Camila Cabello’s group)

Against The Current is one of those bands I find myself coming back to over and over again. “Gravity” gets stuck in my head for days every time I hear it. With “Outsiders”, Chrissy Costanza and the rest of the crew dig their way inside your brain with not only a powerful message but a powerful effort from the entire band. Heavy on the electronics and the heartstrings,  “Outsiders” will be the new “Gravity”.  

You like? Also check out: Gravity; Talk; Fireproof – All by ATC

Ella Henderson- Chapter One

Power. Just saying the word gives a sense of strength, with it’s two syllables and strong first three letters. But have you ever seen someone, specifically a singer, give meaning to the word? Sure, there are several artists out there whose voice could lift a 100 pound weight. Some throws javelins, hitting far distances with their holds, and others are pole vaulting, hitting new heights with their vocal range. Sure, there are many artists out there who can do this, but how many could go on a competition show, win sixth place, and still have the power of a heavyweight champion? There is only one I can think of, and that is Ella Henderson.

Haven’t heard of her? If you listen to top 40 radio, then I am almost certain you have heard her first single “Ghost”. Starting off the album, it is a pop song made in Heaven. It has Ella’s soon to be signature vocals going to high places, low places, and everywhere in between. She is all over the place, and it sounds like she is celebrating. What that thing is, I’m not sure, because the song is about wanting to wash away a bad relationship. It is still a good beginning to an even better album, titled “Chapter One”.

Henderson is a talented songwriter. Many of her songs prove this, including “Mirror Man”, with its line, “Mirror man, I wish I could love you like a mirror can!”. The only song that I did not like the lyrics for was one she did not write herself. This was the only one she did not co-write, and it shows. Her heart does not seem to be in the song as much, with her voice not reaching quite its full potential. There are too many ooohs and repetition of phrases throughout the song. The music does not disappoint though, with percussion taking the lead. Most songs are mostly piano ballads, so his song is on a different wavelength than the rest of the album.

“”Pieces” is easily a favorite on the album. This song has a definite climax, starting out quietly and building up into something spectacular. Raw vocals, a tambourine (which I love), and drums give this song its personality. I can imagine this song being on a road trip playlist or waking me up in the morning. The lyrics do not fit the music, with my favorites on the whole album “Right when we live in pieces/ But pieces fall apart”. This song is a win that makes up for any weak spots on the album.

While there are many bright parts of the album, several songs can be somewhat boring. “Missed” and “Five Tattoos” fill those size too small shoes. “Missed” feels like filler, while “Five Tattoos” showcases her vocals and how far she can hold her notes, but just doesn’t cut it. There is not much variation in the vocals and there is no progression with the instruments.

One last song that is one of the highlights is “Rockets”. It starts out as a simple song with a few runs of her voice, but progresses into something marvelous. It is a mix of pop and soul. Snapping fingers and horns puts the song in a league of its own. There is no other song like it on the album. You feel a sense of Ella’s personality shine through.

If this is “Chapter One”, then I can’t wait to read the whole book. With Ella as an author, I can’t seem to put it down. Like a real book, it has its ups and downs, its sore spots and crazy uplifting moments. If you are looking for an artist soaring to new heights, you have found just the right one. Let us welcome Ella Henderson to our music library.

I’m Not a Freak. I’m a Fan.

I share what I am listening to on my personal Twitter almost every day. It is the main thing I tweet. Most of the time, nobody notices them. So, when I tweeted about Set It Off, and got a favorite and comment from a friend on it, it was unexpected. This friend favorites my music tweets every now and again, so I know she has a good taste in music. We ended up having a long conversation, including some Set It Off talk. We realized that this band means a lot to both of us. For a band to become a constant in your life after less than a month of listening, they must be something special if they can become that for me. Set It Off is the latest and most quickly accepted band in my life. Most bands, it takes me several listens to get into them, but Set It Off took over me the first time I heard them.


The first Set It Off song I ever heard was “Why Worry”. This is off their Duality, their newest album. I am late to the party, but it is a fashionable kind of late. While I may be behind, I am quickly catching up.”Why Worry” means everything to me. It basically is a song telling you to relax. Most everybody needs that, but I need it more than most. I am extremely high strung. People talk about overthinking, but I take it to the next extreme. If I mess up in the smallest way, I will still be thinking about it two years later. It comes up at the worst times, and I hate it. Panic attacks happen less often than they did, but when they happen, they are bad. I mean BAD. I hyperventilate, shake, cry, and gag until I think I am going to throw up. My stomach will hurt for days because I am worrying about something, and I shake my legs so much, my doctor always thinks it is a side effect of my medicine. No, doctor, I am just nervous. That is why this song means so much to me. It is telling you to calm down and ask why you are worrying. It calls out people who do not understand. Meaningful is too weak a word for it. It is like my house, where I can feel safe to be me. No other song has described me so well before. I have found meaning in many songs, but this is the first to lay out everything I need in words.


After “Why Worry”, I knew I was in for life. I had to check out more, so check I did. Spotify to the rescue! I opened the app, searched Set It Off, and found a safe place. These songs describe everything I have ever felt. There are the inspiring songs, such as “Tomorrow” on Duality (which features Jason Lancaster), and “Dream Catcher” on Cinematics. Then there are the songs that describe how I feel on the inside. Most of these songs come from Cinematics. “Freak Show” for example. I often feel like I am out of place and nobody likes me, but like in the song I have come to realize that mean people can’t break me. While they have in the past, I now actually have friends, happiness, and love. Love for myself as well, at least most of the time.  Another example is “No Control”. It talks about feeling like you are screwed up. I can’t tell you how many times that has been through my head. Let’s just say that it has taken up a permanent residence and takes vacations every other weekend. Maybe not even every other weekend. Probably more like one day a month, or one hour a month, or one minute a month Whatever it is, it is not there often. It talks about struggling, and I know what that is like. Somehow the band makes a beautiful song out of the struggle, which makes me like them so much. One more song on Cinematics that is me is “Nightmare”. It states “I created a monster/ A hell within my head. This is true for nearly everybody who has a rough moment. You might not create the problem, but dwelling on it can make it worse. It becomes your own personal hell that you cannot escape. I’ve been there. I know what it is like, so for somebody else to be able to say that they know is comforting.

Saying I am a Set It Off fan forever might not be enough, but will I ever have enough thanks for this band?  There is no possible way I could repay what they have given me. Hope. Assurance. Love. Dreams. Everything worth having, I have found in a band. Oh, and let’s not forget the great tunes these dudes produce. They rock, and because of them, I am learning that I can too.

Call Me Home

Yesterday was my birthday. I am now officially 18 years old. The day was filled with festivities such as a going bowling with my friends and a family birthday party. There was a Pierce The Veil cake involved, and it was fabulous. One of my favorite things about yesterday was my birthday present I got from my parents. It was exciting to open. When I opened the box, there was a computer bag. That was pretty cool, but then my mom told me to open the bag to see if my computer fit. I went to put my laptop in there and saw a little package. I unwrapped it, and saw an envelope from Ticketmaster. Saying that I was excited is an understatement, and I hadn’t even seen what the tickets were yet. When I opened the envelope, I was extremely surprised by what I saw. There, in my hands, were tickets to see FLEETWOOD MAC. I almost cried I was so happy. Perfection was on my fingertips. This might seem dramatic, but I am SO happy.

Fleetwood Mac is one of my favorite bands. I have listened to them for years, probably since I was about 13. They came into my life when I was taking a songwriting class in the summer. The teacher played a few of their songs for us to show us the songwriting skills this band had. That summer, I went to a music store at the beach that summer to find a Fleetwood Mac album, but could not find one. The only place I could find one was at Barnes and Noble. I got the album of their greatest hits, and listened to that thing all of the time. Every night, I went between the two discs until I wore them out and they would not play anymore. Every single song has such meaning to me.I am one of the only people my age that I know who loves them so much. I was watching the videos from recent concerts, and I can tell that I am going to be an outlier at the concert. My parents are going with me, and my mother said that it will seem like they dragged me there. I do not care, I am going to go with pride.

I wish I could share every single song by them with you all, but that would take up a lot of time. Instead, I will share a few special ones to me.


This is my all time favorite FM song. Ever since I first heard it, I knew I was a lifetime fan. Beautiful lyrics and beautiful vocals add up to a beautiful song. I always sing along to this.

2.) Tusk

Unique is the word that sums up this song. The video has a marching band, which makes me love it even more. The song itself though is different yet good for your ears.


Stevie’s vocals are on point in this live version. Lindsey Buckingham is one of the greatest guitarists ever, so that just adds. I love the melody and could replay this for hours.

4.) Second Hand News

I have always loved this song. The lyrics are not happy but the music is. That makes it even better.

The next song is one of their most popular ones. This was done on the Today Show a few months ago. It just goes to show that they can still bring it like it is the 1970s. Here is “Go Your Own Way” done this year.

that. Now you can probably see why I am so excited for the concert. It is going to be one of the best days of my life. The title was taken from “Sara” and I feel that those tickets are doing just that. They are calling me to where I belong.

Deep Down In My Heart

I mostly go for well known bands, at least in their genre of music. Sometimes though, I discover a smaller band and fall in love. The one that has happened the most with is Liberty Deep Down. They never fail to make me happy when I listen to them. Made up of Dominic Frissora (vocals and guitar) Halen Bouhadana (guitar and keys), his twin Noah Bouhadana (drums), Dalton Dye (bass), and Tyler Scott Rose (I believe he plays guitar, don’t kill me if i’m wrong), they are a mix of pop and alternative, always a fun combination. They have done nothing but grow with each release, and I am so proud of them. These next 5 songs are going to be my favorites (that I could find online) by them, counting down from 5 to 1. After this go to and read everything about them. You will not be disappointed. I wish that there were studio versions on YouTube for all of these, but the live videos do show how great they are. I apologize that they are not the best quality. They are not mine.

5.) Tonight I’m Going Home

This song is about wanting to take a girl home, and it gets you wishing that girl was you. The runs Dom does make this song a winner.

4.) Something More

This song has a bouncy guitar and fun “nanana”s in it. I love Dom’s voice and this song showcases it perfectly

3.) Somehow

The drums in this songs are in the spotlight ( So good job Noah) and the lyrics are pretty awesome (Sometimes I look in the mirror/ And don’t know who I see/ Just a broken reflection/ Of who I thought I’d be). There are some talented songwriters in this band.

2.) Heartbeat

The keyboard plays a crucial role in this song, and adds a more electronic feel to the song. The background vocals are also excellent, adding the right amount of edge to the song

1.) Away We Go

I am so glad I found this on YouTube. This is my all time favorite LDD song. It has the whole package deal, lyrics, music, vocals. I just love it and it is always my go to song from this band.

So there you have it. Go listen to their EPs, either on Spotify or buy them on iTunes (support the artist!) I am eagerly awaiting a.) a full length album and b.) a tour date close enough to me I can see them. Go see them if you can and give them all the love they deserve.