A Neurodivergent Childhood

While I only got diagnosed a couple months ago, my Asperger’s has been around since I was a kid.  Nobody ever said anything. No teachers mentioned a word. I guess it is because I did well in school I nearly got straight A’s. Now I have found out that this is because I am a verbal logic thinker (find out more about different types of thinking on the autism spectrum here: http://www.templegrandin.com/article.html ).

One thing that goes with this is being able to do well in subjects I don’t like. That made schoolwork easy for me. t also means I can memorize song names, album, and artists with ease. Any store we go in, I can name most of the songs right away. I love it, because it makes people listen for a while and say “Oh, yeah!”

The memorization came in handy as a child. It would help me on spelling tests. I never missed a word. The day I missed one, I got so anxious, I had to go home. Memorization comes easy to me.

Gym class as one class I could not succeed in. I mean, I still got good grades because you only fail gym by not dressing out. My problem was hand eye coordination skills and processing speed. I never realized the ball was coming toward me, and then when I DID realize, I couldn’t catch it. The baseball unit was awful as well. Hitting the ball never seemed to work.

I had a difficult time making friends. I was bullied by several people throughout my school career. I didn’t know if they were bullying me or not with their sarcastic comments. I took them seriously, and did what they wanted me to. It is hard taking things literally.

Sure, I make sarcastic comments sometimes. I understand those, because THEY ARE MINE. I know what I can and can’t understand.

In conversations with kids at school, I would try to take on their personality so I could try to be a neurotypical person. It was a little weird.

While I have trouble with eye contact, I also stare at people. ONce in high school, I was staring at someone, not really noticing, and she said “Why is she staring at me?” It sort of affected me and made me not want to do it again.

My stims are weird too. I shake my legs. A lot. Like, hard, longterm, and deeply physical. I get into it without realizing. I had a nurse ask me once if it was normal for me. I told her that I don’t even notice half the time.

Childhood as an Aspie was hard. I had no social skills, my sensory processing sucked, and I couldn’t even play kickball for crying out loud. I hope that as an adult, things get better.