Everything is flowing and going well. I have been thinking a lot about college. There are so many things I want to do, and it is hard to decide.I know I have time, but it is still a worthwhile subject to think about. I was talking to somebody about it, and they brought up a job to me that sounds interesting. It is called an Applied Behavioral Analyst. In this job you work with children, typically with autism, and help them with their behaviors and help their parents learn how to take care of their child. This may not be completely correct, but it is what I have gotten from online reading and conversation. Music journalism is still my number one choice, but working with children, particularly those with special needs, has always been a love of mine. I could major in psychology, get my masters degree, and be set. I could study something I love and get a good job. These are all good things.
These lyrics are about my mood changing. This is a subject I write about often, but it is a very real topic to me. Here is “Ebb and Flow”
This disease has gone to town
Building me up, then tearing me down
I didn’t ask for this, did I?
Then why does every day try to take
The life out of me
Well, I’m at my wake
Then I jump out of the coffin
This happens too often
Get me out of here alive
So I can change my past mistakes
So my body doesn’t have to make
Me change
I guess karma is a witch
Did things totally wrong
Guess that’s why I switch
Back and forth all day long
I go up and down
I’m an elevator
My hope is hellbound
Pain is my motivator
Sometimes I’m the iceberg
Sometimes the Titanic
Knocking things down when I hurt
I push and pull, I’m frantic
Then I’m broken down in two
My pieces drift apart
I’m the dirt under my shoe
The hole in ex-lovers’ hearts
I come in waves
Wash out to sea
Nobody can save
This pathetic person that is me
This disease has gone to town
Building me up, then tearing me down
I didn’t ask for this, did I?
Then why does every day try to take
The life out of me
Well, I’m at my wake
Then I jump out of the coffin
This happens too often
Get me out of here alive
So I can change my past mistakes
So my body doesn’t have to make
Me change
I need to change
This disease has gone to town
Building me up, then tearing me down
I didn’t ask for this, did I?
Then why does every day try to take
The life out of me
Well, I’m at my wake
Then I jump out of the coffin
This happens too often
Get me out of here alive
So I can change my past mistakes
So my body doesn’t have to make
Me change
Change the way my body goes
I have to deal with the ebbs and flows
Too hard, I’ll stop
I’ll back up, mess up a lot
These changes make a mess
They make me day and night
They make me mean and nice
But I’ll get out alive
I’ll make things up and go on with life